DESIGN YOUR LIFE – HOW TO CREATE MEANINGFUL LIFE, ADVANCE YOUR CAREER AND LIVE YOUR DREAMS BY CORNELIA SHIPLEY
about the author
Cornelia Shipley is a motivational speaker and coach who helps people transform their lives. He likes to inspire change and responsibilities. Cornelia believes in empowering women and teaching them how to lead a good personal and professional life.
Introduction
Cornelia Shipley was very upset with her life, but she changed everything. He learned how to make better connections, make more time for your family, and pursue a business you’re passionate about. If Cornelia had not laid a strong foundation in her life, she would not have been able to handle the shock of her mother’s passing.
When Cornelia was on vacation for her honeymoon, her mother died. Cornelia was relieved that she had decided to change her life 6 years ago. He gave a lot of time to his family and spent all his holidays with his parents. If Cornelia had not redesigned her life, she would have lost the chance to spend these precious moments with her mother.
You should think about such valuable experiences that you are missing in your life. You have to stop living a life that is designed according to your past or others’ standards. You have every right to create a future where you can enjoy every single moment to the fullest.
If you don’t love the life you have right now, this summary will help you design a life you’ll enjoy every day. You’ll be able to find your true passion, find a job that motivates you, and live a happy social life.
So are you ready to change and redesign your understanding of success, vision, goal setting and mindset? So let’s get started.
The Foundation of Your Life
We like people who have achieved success in every area of their life. Their married life has been successful, they have got good paying jobs, their children are educated and their travel experiences have been great. Some people have it all, but some people live a fake life.
If you look closely at his achievements, then his marriage was not as successful as it seems, rather he is very upset about it. Some people have lost control of their life and cannot understand what happens in their life everyday. Most people live a life full of such troubles, but there are very few people who realize this and wake up.
Mary is an example of a person who is lost in the deep sea of life. He has many responsibilities. Mary wakes up early in the morning to take care of her large family and is also the leader of a non-profit organization. They have to raise millions of dollars to pay for the budget. Mary is thinking of expanding her organization further. His job, in addition to managing his employees, is also to pay them. In addition, Mary is so passionate about her social life that she is considering running for a public office.
It seems that she is such a successful woman who has everything. The truth is that at times Mary, like most of us, was exhausted and felt lost. But a strong sense of purpose has always helped Mary stay ahead in life even with so many responsibilities. She was very passionate about her family and social life. She was not afraid of any work or hard work to fulfill her goals.
Mary knew very well who she was, what she wanted and how she could live her life in the best possible way. Whenever he saw an opportunity, he used to believe that he was ready to take that challenge. Mary firmly believed in her values and beliefs. All he had to do was connect a few things together so that he could lead an organized and stress-free life.
To be like Mary, you need to have a clear vision of where you want to be. You have to ask yourself all these questions to get the life you want. What future do you want for yourself? After getting the life you want, what will be the difference between your thinking and feeling at that time and today. What changes do you need to make in your behavior or mindset in order to have the life you want? What support do you need to achieve your vision?
The answers to these questions will help you to know your values and not live life according to others. Living up to the expectations of others will pull you away from your strong foundation.
When Mary wanted to organize her life, she realized she needed to ask others for help. This was difficult for Mary to do because she believed that asking for help meant being a burden to others or making herself appear weak. As soon as Mary changed her thinking, she realized that she could create and lead a talented team to run her organization and reduce her workload. Mary realized that she could relieve herself of some of the household chores by hiring a helper to clean and do the laundry. Instead of household chores, she can spend this time enjoying with her family.
Going back to your childhood memories will help you identify your core values. Think about all the beliefs and ideas you learned as a child and ask yourself questions. Think about all the stories you tell yourself. To achieve the life you want, you will need to change some beliefs and stories and develop some new more productive habits.
Identify the values you want to live by. Think about why they are important and how you can live with a value every day. The answers to these questions will help you make decisions based on your own values and habits and actions based not on the beliefs of others.
A Brand That Speaks for You
What does the word “brand” mean to you? Do they remind you of Nike, Apple and Oprah? Your brand is your reputation. We love the brands we use because they give us experiences we want to have again and again.
Building your personal brand means living your values and being an authentic mirror of who you are. In the previous chapter, you identified your core values and created a vision to support your goals and dreams.
Building a personal brand involves both your personal and professional life. You can identify your personal brand by what you say or do and what people say about you behind your back.
Personal brand also helps you to take control of your life. If you follow your values, you will achieve an authentic destination that is truly yours. Usually a person with a bad reputation is forced to leave his job and start a new life elsewhere.
There are four parts to a personal brand. First, you have to work on your personal style. Many people think that it is useless to think about how we look. They think how they look doesn’t matter. Whether you like it or not, people’s first impression is made by your appearance. You should try to create a signature style that reflects your values and vision for life.
Think about your vision and the lifestyle you want to achieve, and dress accordingly. Your behavior and way of speaking also tells who you are. The more you live to be real, the more you’ll find your personal style changing.
For example, Lisa works in a fashion industry. Wherever she goes, she is the most well-dressed person. Her style is very beautiful. She is very nice and is liked by everyone.
Lisa always wanted to be a broadcaster. Because of this dream, he created his own unique style and likeable personality.
Lisa was always focused on achieving her goals and living the part she wanted to be in the future. She treated everyone well and became whatever the news company wanted her to be.
Before becoming a broadcaster, Lisa worked in the corporate world. Even then, she was known for her classy dressing style. After becoming a news broadcaster, everyone wondered if Lisa was as good off-air as she was on-air. Lisa had always been nice to everyone. She was very generous and used to give all her love and attention to her fans.
Lisa is the perfect example of an authentic brand that focuses on their goals and values. She was able to get her dream job easily and all this was possible because of the same efforts that she put in to get the life she wanted.
The other part of personal brand is experience. It means that person’s own experience and how he makes the people around him feel. Education and knowledge of a person also matters a lot.
There is such a success formula that authentic means real people understand. Your visibility i.e. how you present yourself in front of others, and your credibility i.e. how much people trust you, together tell your earning potential. This means that to get the life you deserve, there should be equality in your actions and your words.
The third element to build a personal brand is the network, ie the community from where you come. The people you spend most of your time with should reflect who you are and what you want to achieve. You should build a network of people who challenge you and help you achieve more success.
Having the right people around you can help you grab a lot of work opportunities. Good friends will always show you the way to profit. Like, if you want a promotion, then your colleagues can talk about how wonderful and good work you are doing in your organization.
The final element of building a personal brand is personal and professional development. The world’s most successful brands are always trying out new products, markets and services. If you do not create a growth plan, you will not be able to survive in your industry.
To tell more about your brand, take a look at each component in terms of what you should be doing, who you’re doing it for, and how you can get the results you want. Building a personal brand begins with being true to yourself. If you follow other people’s rules, you won’t be able to lie for long. Live your values and build a personal brand that supports your future vision.
It’s Your Life, How Will You Handle It?
Two women in a coffee shop talking about their friend Jane. Jane is a successful woman who has everything. She runs a successful business, volunteers at the school, and has a loving relationship with her husband. Both of these women are envious of Jane’s perfect life. Don’t you want to be like Jane? Of course, we all want to.
To achieve this, you have to live a designed life, which is based on your personal operating principles. These principles are the next step in your values. They will help you focus on your daily tasks, to focus on your vision.
Your personal operating principles will either make you move forward or fall behind. It is your job to know which principals will work for your growth and which principals you will have to remove. These principles will teach those around you to treat you the way you want to be treated.
For example, Tara is known for always being on time. Whenever she is late, she calls the other person and informs in advance. Being on time is a value, and Tara’s actions are its operating principle. If you’re supposed to have lunch with Tara and you’re 15 minutes late, she’ll leave the restaurant because you didn’t call to tell her you’d be late.
Everyone knows that Tara follows this principal, so he is never late to meet her. Even his students know that if he is even a few minutes late, they will not be able to attend his class. By following this operating principle, Tara has taught those around her to be on time.
Living by your operating principles every day can help you develop the habits you need to achieve your goals. These principles also guide you in taking the right decisions and planning for your future. To identify your operating principles, you need to look at the vision and values you wrote about in the previous chapters.
Choose an operating principle you want to focus on and write five to seven sentences that will serve as a guide to help you achieve your designed future. These statements should give you an idea of how you want to behave and interact with your network in future situations.
You must try each principle in real-life situations. Think about each principal and ask yourself the question: Do this principal reflect my values and standards? Will these principles help me lead a more positive life in the next five to ten years? Will this principal give me the results I want? Will it help me become the person I really want to be and make the impact I want to have on people?
As such, you can choose to take responsibility for your life. You don’t blame others or complain about anything. You recognize that your life is shaped by the choices you make, and that if you don’t like something, you can change it. You think that it is possible to have the life you want.
Let us see the example of Susan Boyle. Susan was very different from a typical famous singer. Although she did not look like this, but she had full faith in her ability and hence she participated in a singing competition on TV. When Susan came on stage, the judges looked at her strangely. No one believed that the voice of a woman standing on the stage would be like this.
After the competition, Susan received a lot of negative comments. But, Susan didn’t let these negatives affect her operating principles. She had faith in her voice and kept on singing. Susan Boyle became famous for her melodious voice and toured all over the United Kingdom.
Remember, you can create the personal brand you want and live your life according to the principles you choose. You can start working anytime, and there is no age limit, to design the life you want and achieve your dreams.
Winning the Game: Defining Success for Yourself
Many people spend their whole life to fulfill the dreams of others. As soon as they get what they think they want, everything seems empty to them. They do not feel that satisfaction, which they expect.
Nathan has been working in a company for ten years. His dream was to become a partner in that company, and during the ten years he worked there, only two people were able to reach this position. Nathan learns from his secret sources that he is going to be partnered this year. Instead of being happy, Nathan began to panic.
Nathan’s job already used to take a lot of time and he was disturbed thinking about promotion. Thinking about how much time he would have to spend to handle this thing, he was very upset. The truth was that Nathan did not want this promotion at all. He was not happy with his job and was living his life according to someone else’s principles.
After trying to find his dream, Nathan realizes that he loves golfing and planning. He worked hard and found a job that combined golf and strategic planning. Nathan eventually got a job as a strategist at a golf company. He was very lucky to know that he was living a life which was not true or real according to his needs.
So far, you’ve learned how to design your life’s vision and choose the values and operating principles that will guide your daily actions. Now the time has come, when you think how to measure your success. When you think of success, what does it feel like? Do you dream of owning an expensive house, a luxury car or going on an exotic vacation? Or do you want to lead a simple life while raising your children and being a valuable member of your community?
You should define success according to yourself. Think of your life like a movie. Remember the experience from your childhood till date. Think about the feelings that each experience brings with it. Think of something that you would like to relive in your future. Write down the best memories and feelings you experienced after watching the movie in your life.
These questions will help you to know what success means to you. What is it that allows you to live a meaningful and happy life? What do you want to become in future? What kind of job would give you a purpose in life? What do you want people to talk about you behind your back? Who do you want to add to your network? What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? What does successful life mean to you? How do you know you have become successful? Your answers will tell you the true definition of success.
You must remember that you should not focus on your selfish desires, rather you should also help others to improve their lives. Think of a famous brand like Apple. They have become successful because they have fulfilled the needs of the customers. They have talented people who believe in the vision of helping others. When you focus on helping others, you will eventually achieve financial success.
People who have become rich have understood that running after material things does not bring happiness and satisfaction. First, they work their entire lives to achieve financial success and then, something happens that changes their outlook towards life. When someone loses a loved one or they get a serious illness, it forces people to think about their priorities.
If you really want to win, then you should focus on goals that give meaning to your life instead of earning money. Many successful people say that height is the place where you often get lonely. Channel your dreams towards meaning and contribution, not towards buying material luxuries.
Another way to understand success is to remember that life always gives you messages. Sometimes, a tragedy, such as the loss of a loved one or being fired from a job, confronts us with the reality of our existence. So don’t ignore these messages and always be ready to correct your path.
Focus on each day and try to get the results you want. Do not let the things here and there ruin your life. After setting a definition of success for yourself, you deserve to have a strong purpose in life. Keep in mind that the opinion of others should not make you dance at your behest. You yourself are the creator of your life. You create your own reality, so do the right things and stay focused.
After you’ve defined your success, you need to list the actions you need to take to get the results you want. Think about the obstacles that might come your way. For example, you want to attend a nursing school but you don’t have a lot of money. To eliminate this problem, you can apply for a scholarship or find someone who can help you. You’ll also need to think about the support you’ll need to do everyday tasks easily. The last step is to schedule your tasks in your calendar. If you don’t put something in the calendar, you will forget it. So, keep in mind that make a plan in advance and follow it by taking action on it.
Many people follow the lives of others and follow them. They are either too scared or procrastinate to do something on their own to change their life. They forget that taking action and overcoming their fears can give them the life they want. If you don’t try to achieve your inner desires, your life will never change. Don’t let your past mistakes and failures come in the way of your progress. You don’t want to miss out on the golden opportunities in life, do you?
Designing the life you want will bring new visions to your eyes. You will know your inner fears and negative emotions. You will also know the real reason behind not taking your action. It takes courage and determination to change your life.
Always ask yourself to know about the truth that you are hiding from yourself. Truth always leads you to freedom. By facing the truth of your situation, you will focus on your daily actions. Trust me, working towards your personal definition of success will really be worth it in the end.
Reward Yourself: You’ve Earned It!
The way to get the life you deserve is not easy. When you follow your dreams and action plan, you will face many challenges and temptations. To keep your motivation alive, you need to reward yourself from time to time.
The dictionary meaning of reward is “to give something in return”. It can be “something”, money, service or even something emotional. This word can also mean doing something to reinforce a behavior that we want to bring in ourselves.
We learned as children that when we did something well, we were rewarded with stickers, trophies, certificates or toys. Such rewards are external. To motivate ourselves with Rewards, we need to understand what we like and what it is that pushes us to complete certain actions. Some people find it difficult to keep going without rewarding themselves.
You can do this formally or privately to give yourself some recognition for your hard work. One of the most important rewards that everyone enjoys is helping others. Just imagine that there can be no greater reward than when you help someone else change their life.
The first step to rewarding yourself is to celebrate your current achievements. You deserve recognition for wherever you are today. So far, you’ve designed a set of values and actions based on your wishes. You have decided not to live your life by the rules of others and to create a life that reflects a glimpse of your true self. You deserve to be rewarded for whatever you have done so far.
In the second step, you will think about those actions in which getting rewards is possible. You can fix daily rewards like calling a friend, taking a nap, or watching an episode of your favorite TV show. You can also incorporate weekly rewards, such as printing trophies and certificates, creating your own sticker system, or taking a day off to enjoy your free time.
Your monthly rewards could include taking a weekend off, buying something for your favorite hobby, doing some charity work, spending time with your kids, or creating a bag of different rewards to choose from.
You should not focus too much on materialistic rewards. Sometimes, you just won’t have the money for what you want to give yourself. Instead, you can enjoy simple things like dancing with your partner or having dinner with your family.
Annual rewards are the biggest. You can buy a concert ticket or something big like jewelry or an expensive watch. You can buy books for yourself or join self development courses.
You need to create a reward system to keep yourself motivated to achieve the best future you want. Your actions deserve to be rewarded. Without recognition, you will not be able to achieve one goal after another. This will harm the self-esteem and self-confidence that comes with setting goals for your future.
Success Is A Head Game – Design Your Mind
What you believe will come true. If you keep having negative thoughts, your life will always have negative results. However, if you believe that you can achieve anything, you will. So, the first step to designing the life you want is changing your thoughts. Your mind can create whatever you believe is true.
Whatever you believe in, it becomes true. If you keep only negative thinking then you will always get negative results in your life. But, if you believe that you can achieve anything, you will actually make it happen. Therefore, the first step in designing your life is to change your thoughts. Your mind can create whatever you believe to be true.
It may take time for you to reach your desired goal. But if your belief system and your actions are right then you can make the impossible possible. Right mindset not only helps you to be successful but it also helps you to take right decisions and find right solutions to your problems. It all depends on your thinking whether you consider a problem as a problem or can convert it into an opportunity. Your attitude can give you the life you want.
A mindset grows by learning from experiences only. For example, Ana is a student who always fails in exams. Whenever she gives exams, her numbers come less than the average. Ana has two views on this problem. First, she may give up and stop studying for the exam. Second, she can keep trying and find better ways to study.
The first approach will lead Ana to failure and the second to success. Therefore, it is important to constantly work on improving your mindset.
Another example is Jim Carrey. He had always dreamed of becoming a successful actor. In an interview with Oprah, Jim said that he always believed that he could have all the good things he wanted. They knew that he is somewhere in this world and is waiting for his arrival. Jim’s mindset was very motivational, which inspired him to work every day. It took him 10 years to make the life he wanted.
Jim Carrey has worked hard to build his mindset and skills. He read many self-help books and never missed an opportunity to achieve his goals.
Success is not guaranteed just by having the right mindset, but this guarantee will definitely come from consistent and determined actions. To change the mindset, you have to work on it everyday. It takes time for any habit to become effortless. For example, when you start a healthy diet, you find it difficult in the beginning, but on day 45, you feel that you cannot live without your new lifestyle.
List habits that can help you grow your social circle, achieve your vision, challenge yourself every day, and do the work that inspires you. For each habit, think about what you would need to do and what kind of support system you would need to help you.